Entering rehab as a couple offers a unique opportunity to heal together from addiction while addressing the relationship dynamics that contribute to it. However, one of the most common challenges faced in Couples Rehab is when one partner is more engaged, motivated, or emotionally invested in the process than the other. This disparity in commitment can cause tension and imbalance in recovery if not handled with care.
At Trinity Behavioral Health, the Couples Rehab program is designed with this reality in mind. The clinical team anticipates differences in readiness and participation levels, and incorporates therapeutic structures to support both the more-engaged and less-engaged partner without sacrificing either person’s chance at meaningful recovery.
This article explores how couples rehab programs, particularly at Trinity Behavioral Health, accommodate imbalanced engagement and how therapists work to align both partners toward shared healing.
Understanding Engagement Disparities in Couples Rehab
Not every couple enters treatment with the same mindset or level of readiness. Common reasons one partner may be less engaged include:
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Ambivalence or denial about having a substance use problem
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Fear of change or withdrawal from addictive patterns
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Distrust of the treatment process or resistance to authority
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Past trauma that makes vulnerability difficult
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Belief that rehab is unnecessary or being done only to “save” the relationship
These emotional and psychological barriers are not uncommon, and rather than being dismissed as “noncompliance,” they are approached by Trinity clinicians as clinical challenges to be addressed respectfully and empathetically.
Individual Assessments: Separating Readiness from Relationship Dynamics
Before joint therapy even begins, each partner at Trinity Behavioral Health undergoes a comprehensive clinical intake. This process evaluates:
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Substance use history
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Mental health status
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Treatment motivation and readiness
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Past experiences with therapy
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Relationship stressors and attachment styles
This early evaluation allows therapists to recognize engagement imbalances immediately and tailor the treatment plan accordingly. It also helps distinguish whether the reluctance stems from addiction denial, emotional withdrawal, trauma, or general resistance to treatment.
Separate Therapy Tracks to Foster Individual Growth
When one partner is less engaged, it’s essential that each person receives their own space for reflection and healing. That’s why individual therapy plays a central role in Trinity’s Couples Rehab program. The less-engaged partner:
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Has access to a dedicated therapist who helps explore ambivalence
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Works through internal barriers to participation in a non-judgmental setting
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Sets personal goals for recovery without pressure from the other partner
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Receives psychoeducation about the impact of addiction on self and relationships
Meanwhile, the more-engaged partner is also supported to manage their frustration, expectations, and potential feelings of emotional abandonment during therapy.
Therapeutic Approaches That Encourage Engagement
Trinity’s clinical team employs motivational interviewing (MI) techniques specifically designed to increase treatment readiness. This method focuses on:
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Eliciting the less-engaged partner’s own reasons for change
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Avoiding confrontation or judgment
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Creating space for internal motivation to emerge
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Highlighting discrepancies between values and current behavior
Other therapy modalities used include:
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Trauma-informed therapy, if low engagement stems from unresolved past trauma
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Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) for emotional regulation
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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to identify and reframe avoidance thoughts
The key principle: engagement is a process, not a prerequisite. Trinity meets each partner where they are.
Couples Therapy Without Pressuring Participation
While individual therapy is personalized, joint therapy sessions are structured to create balance, safety, and consent. If one partner is less engaged, therapists:
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Create clear boundaries around what will be discussed
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Ask both partners to consent to the format of the session
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Use equal airtime strategies so one voice doesn’t dominate
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Encourage empathy-building through structured conversation techniques
If the less-engaged partner expresses resistance during joint sessions, therapists avoid shaming or pushing, and instead explore what barriers are present in the moment.
Establishing Clear, Mutual Expectations
Trinity encourages couples to set therapy goals together, even if they differ. This may include:
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Agreeing to attend a minimum number of joint sessions
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Creating individual objectives within the relationship (e.g., communication, emotional safety)
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Deciding how they will support or give space to one another outside of therapy
By making these agreements part of the treatment plan, both partners feel heard, and expectations are made explicit rather than assumed.
Supporting the More-Engaged Partner
While attention is given to encouraging the less-engaged partner, Trinity never forgets the emotional toll this imbalance can take on the other. Therapists offer the more-engaged partner:
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Validation for their frustration or loneliness
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Tools to set emotional boundaries without withdrawing love
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Communication coaching to avoid shaming or pressure tactics
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Support in detaching from outcomes they cannot control
This ensures the engaged partner doesn’t lose momentum or feel dismissed during the process.
Group Therapy as a Neutral Ground
Sometimes, individual and couples therapy can feel intense for partners with very different energy levels in treatment. That’s why group therapy is an additional space that often helps ease the dynamic. Group sessions offer:
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A sense of community and normalization
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The opportunity to hear others’ journeys
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Less pressure than direct one-on-one confrontation
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Insight into how others have handled similar imbalance
Trinity offers groups specific to couples, trauma survivors, relapse prevention, and dual-diagnosis—providing the less-engaged partner with multiple entry points into active participation.
Addressing the Fear of Being “Forced” into Treatment
Some less-engaged partners enter couples rehab because their partner insisted or because of an ultimatum. Trinity handles this delicately by:
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Acknowledging the fear of losing autonomy
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Exploring personal benefits of treatment beyond relationship preservation
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Shifting focus from “doing it for them” to “doing it for you”
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Supporting both partners to talk about motivation without shame
This helps reframe the narrative and gradually shift from external pressure to internal motivation.
Ongoing Monitoring and Adaptation
Trinity Behavioral Health never treats a static plan as final. Clinical teams meet regularly to:
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Review both partners’ progress
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Adjust therapeutic approaches as engagement shifts
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Provide additional resources or referrals if deeper individual care is needed
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Revisit the couple’s joint goals and determine readiness for the next phase
This dynamic model ensures treatment evolves as engagement levels change, offering ongoing chances to reset and re-engage.
When One Partner Isn’t Ready—What Then?
In some cases, the less-engaged partner may ultimately resist all efforts to engage meaningfully. Trinity’s ethical and clinical policy is to prioritize safety and integrity, meaning:
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The more-engaged partner may be encouraged to continue solo treatment
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The couple may pause joint therapy while the resistant partner reflects
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Future re-entry into couples therapy is left open, if/when readiness improves
The goal is never to force participation, but to support growth in any available format.
Real Stories: From Reluctance to Readiness
Case 1: Jason and Alyssa
Jason agreed to enter couples rehab only because Alyssa insisted. For the first two weeks, he barely spoke. But through motivational interviewing and trauma-sensitive counseling, Jason began sharing his fears of failure and opened up about childhood trauma. By week four, he was attending all sessions voluntarily.
Case 2: Monique and Sarah
Monique was all-in, but Sarah felt resentful and “dragged into” rehab. Trinity’s staff gave Sarah the space to explore those feelings without judgment, while supporting Monique’s boundaries. Sarah eventually agreed to participate in couples sessions and set her own pace, and they now attend aftercare together.
These real-life transformations show that reluctance doesn’t equal failure—it’s an emotional starting point that can be worked with skillfully.
Conclusion: Meeting Uneven Commitment with Compassion and Strategy
So, how does couples rehab accommodate one partner who may be less engaged than the other? At Trinity Behavioral Health, the answer lies in empathy, individualized care, and clinical adaptability.
Rather than forcing change or penalizing withdrawal, Trinity’s approach invites participation through trust, education, and empowerment. By balancing individual therapy, motivational support, and couples counseling, they create an environment where both partners—regardless of initial engagement—have the opportunity to heal, grow, and move toward recovery.
Couples Rehab isn’t about perfect parity on day one. It’s about creating space for both partners to arrive in their own time, in their own way, and to be supported every step of the way.
Read: Why Is Equal Attention Critical in Couples Rehab Programs?
Read: What Screening Process Does Couples Rehab Use to Ensure Both Partners Are Invested?
